Thanks so much to ClaireBella0701, also known as Destiny Rose for the Boho Flapper that I wanted for Amber so badly...THANK YOU SO MUCH!
~~~♥♥♥~~~
"I'm a fly that's trapped in a web, but I'm thinking that my spiders dead. Lonely, lonely, little life, I could kid myself thinking that I'm fine."
"Oh, Corbin!" I gasp. "Right when I thought you would never call, of course you do."
"Aw, I'm hurt Lights! Of course I can find time to call you, you're my girl!"
There it is again...him calling me his girl. No girlfriend for sure. Grinning like an idiot, I reply, "You're girl...yes, that I am. So what's up, what's the occassion?"
"Well, since you insist upon getting right to things I have a proposal-"
Please, please, dear SimGod, PLEASE don't be a James moment...
"-And no, it's not marriage," I take a deep breath and relax a bit. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming over to my humble abode for dinner tomorrow night?"
My eyes pop open, and I even let out a little chuckle. "Since when do YOU cook?!"
"Hey, no need to be so judgemental!" I love how he can see my reaction when we're only on the phone.
"Oh, I'm not being judgemental...I'm going off of previous knoweledge. Remember when we were 15 and you tried to make me dinner at your grandmothers house? The firefighters were there before you even got to finish the SALAD!"
"I think you're stretching the truth just a bit," he laughs. "I don't remember it quite like that."
"Oh yeah! Stupid me, the firefighters were there before you even started making the salad!"
I can hear the greatest laugh begin from the other side of the phone-I remember this laugh mildly, but it starts out like a grumble and errupts into quick breathing through the phone line.
After a few moments of uninterrupted laughter, I can hear him taking a deep breath. "I haven't laughed like that in awhile, you know. I miss hearing your voice."
That's it, that is what sends me right over the edge.
Not knowing how to feel, my anxiety builds up and my face spreads into a frown. "Calm yourself boy! So, when would this shin-dig be?"
"I was thinking tomorrow night? I'm pretty much booked the rest of the week so tomorrow evening could be good."
"Okay, that sounds great. Can I-" I'm about to ask if I should bring my kids, when I remember he doesn't know about them. I freeze for a moment, and of course he picks up on it.
"Are you okay there? Can you what?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just wondering...Can I bring anything to the dinner? I make a mean keylime pie, just ask my-" There I go again! It's so hard to not talk about my kids, that's something I'll have to work on. "-Just ask, erm, my friends." Wow, that makes me sound like a loser.
"Erm, yeah..." he lets out a nervous laugh, signalling the call should end.
"Well, thanks for calling. I'll be there tomorrow night, text me directions. Cya."
The phone clicks off, and as I'm slipping it into my pocket it hits me. I just accepted a 'date' with Corbin Fierik. That name could mean absolutely nothing to any other person, but to me...to me, that name means the world. And that name was flirting with me. So no one else can say a word about it.
Every mother has a small to-do list, always shoved in the back of her mind, nagging for things to be done. With the dinner (maybe date) tonight, a small window of time to get pregnant, birthdays to be had, and possibly squeezing in time to spend with the family, I NEED a to-do list, up front and center. My first task is to make breakfast, but of course I get stuck sitting on the counter, dreaming about this evening. It could go right in so many ways. I'm horribly excited.
I hope off the counter, and start the strides to the toddlers room. As soon as I open the door my mouth drops open, and I flush with pride; when I see my kids being especially kind to each other, I literally flow with happiness. As Dwayne finishes the heartfelt hug with Spencer, and then see's me, his cheeks grow red. "Whoa, mom! When did you come in?" he stammers.
I'm about to make up an excuse, but instead I dump that idea in the trash and give him a big hug. "Aw, sweetie! You're such a good brother! I love you so much baby!"
"Watch it ma," he giggles, pulling out of my grip. "He fell and I was helping him up. And we're brothers, I will always treat my siblings well. And WHY are you grinning like crazy now?"
"You just make me so happy, darling. Why don't I age up the triplets so you can have some REAL play time with them?"
"Wow mom! That would be epic!" He runs out the door to tell his brother, and I am stuck setting up the cakes. How original.
Brendon, Sarah, and Spencer...holy canoli. They're GORGEOUS! Brendon is just like the person I named him after-hyper, hilarious, and can bring a smile to anyones face. Sarah is the middle girl. She loves both her her immediate brothers, adores all of her half siblings, and loves me the most, and doesn't usually find time for herself. She is such a sweet little girl that just the sight of her face makes me tear up. Finally, Spencer. What can I say about Spencer? He gets along amazingly with both of his siblings, and is a pretty flawless kiddo. I don't usually like the word flawless, but he's perfect in my eyes-great grades, great family man, and never gets under anyones skin. I think it's safe to say I did well with these three!
Lauren (top) and Magenta (bottom) are still the typical Jersey-style girls. So much animal print! Lauren is still the one who always calms Magenta's antics, and Magenta is still the one to make Lauren see the light side of life. They're fabulous partners in crime, so there's no doubt in my mind they will be the best they can.
With the oldest kids grown up and moved out, I finally feel content enough to call over the next father. His name is Matty King, and he works at the matress-store down the street. When he called me, I was unimpressed with his features and history but it's his story that got to me. His mother died when he was only 3-years-old, and ever since he's at eating disorders and weight issues because of the depression. It took all my courage not to cry when he told me, and I face the same issue now! The baby-making process is quick and I give him a huge hug before he leaves. Everyone needs a good hug every once in awhile.
Nausea hits me like a ton of bricks instantly, so I relax a bit and check up on my email and facebook. As I tinker away the kids game of Cops and Robbers pans out before me. "Hold up, I am a COP! You stop right there mister!" demands Spencer. Cute little Brendon giggles saying, "Yeah you better hold up or I'll getcha when you least expect it. Boom! POW!" Sarah, Dylan, and Dwayne skimper away and yell "Oh no! The coppers are on our tail! Make a mad dash to the treehouse!" As they run up and down the yard I grin and take a few pictures. Oh, how I adore Sundays.
I wrap up my web-surfing around 4 PM-ish, and give into aging up the babies. Lazar is on the left, Zaden on the right. They both have very interesting and unique features, but are doubly adorable. As they roll around and giggle I start getting changed for the dinner (maybe date).
I feel like every day, right before something important is going to happen, I end up in the exact same place; in front of my mirror. I'd like to think that it's just a coincidence, and I'm not vain at all, but I think we all know I am just a bit. As I'm obsessing over how my smile looks, and the tiny wrinkles in my dress, I hear the doorbell ring. "MOMMY!" hollers Sarah. "There's someone at the door! Should I answer it?!" I holler back that she should, and I hear footsteps immediately after. The door clicks open, but all I can make out is a few comments from a deep voice and Sarah giggling, "Yeah, sure." to the person. As I'm about to turn around my door is pushed open, revealing the person.
"Hel-wait-wha?..." several words jumble together, and my over-used mouth drops open. "J-James?"
"Well, hello there little miss 'Never-Going-To-Answer-My-Calls.'" he grumbles. His strides grow shorter as he approaches me. Halting completely in front of my face, he says, "I'm glad to see that you're okay. I was beginning to think you were dead or something."
"Why are you here?" Not the most appropriate quesiton, I'm aware of that, but it's the question on my mind as he talks.
"Did you read ANY of my texts? I told you I would be stopping over sometime soon. Well, that time is right now. Is it a bad time?"
Oh, I did read that text. "Oh, sorry, never got that one," I lie. "been so busy I can hardly read any text messages! And yes, it's kind of a bad time right now..."
"Oh, and why would that be?" he questions, while giving me that inquisitve look of his.
"Oh, ya know...just, doing, you know, stuff."
"You're awfully dressed up to be doing 'stuff'. What are you REALLY doing?"
"Um, just, uh-"
"Dear lord Amber," he mutters. James grabs my arm and pulls me close, but not doing anything...yet. "Can you please forget about that damn ring for about two seconds and speak to me? It's not like we're in an awkward fight or something. Talk to me, please. I'm begging you."
"James..." I trail off, falling into his eyes. I tried so hard to forget how deep his orbs are. "I'm going to dinner...with a friend."
"Oh, really? Like Vanessa or Violet or somthing?"
"Well-"
"Please don't lie to me."
"No. I'm not going out with the girls, I'm visiting a high school friend for dinner."
"Oh, really?" he smiles. "Well that's cool. Mind if I go? I'm starved." For any other person, I would slap them acorss the face and demand to know what's wrong with them. But James is James, and this is how he acts all the time.
"Erm..." I mutter.
He says "Dear lord" again and guides me backwards toward the wall.
In a typical James Masons fashion, he places one hand on my cheek, the other on the wall, and plants a huge kiss on me. The tension that has been building up in me for weeks is finally released and I give in. After a few brief moments, I come up for air. "You're smiling." grins James. "I actually got you to smile. I never thought I'd be able to say that again. You worried me for a second there." he laughs and I sort of do too. He dives in for another kiss, but I pull away sooner than the first. "James, I really need to get going. You showed up at a really bad time."
"Are you being serious right now? Amber, I love you. There, I said it! I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU. Can you please just admit you love me too and let me come to dinner with you? Or are you having dinner with a date?" He gives me a look that turns my face bright red. "It's a guy, isn't it? Wow, this is embarressing." He smiles awkwardly and runs his fingers through his tousled hair. "Well, I guess I better be going now. Cya, I guess."
As he turns for the door and is just about to leave, I say, "Wait, James, no. Please come to dinner with me. It's just a high-school friend. I swear. I like you a lot too." I can see he's shocked I didn't say love, but he turns around and comes back. "I was hoping you would say that."
He dives in for another kiss, much more passionate this time. I think the mirror even steamed.
The drive to Corbins was thankfully a short one, therefore preventing too long of a time to talk with James. I'm such an indecisive, non-commitement, and worry-wart of a person that James and Corbin are just two things too much. I don't know how I manage to always get myself into these type of situations, but what I do know is how intimidated I feel as I step up to Corbins front door and place a small knock on the polished wood. "Whoa, your friend has a sick house," laughs James. I elbow him in the stomach, demanding that he be mature and appropriate. "Can you please be mature for one second?" Trying to keep a straight face is of no use since James errupts into laughter. "So, is this a boyfriend or something?" he teases some more. His fingers reach up to my chin, and gently tilt it up, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. "Relax, Amber. We've been through far worse than a dinner date." I ponder what kind of bad luck that could be when Corbin opens the door to James and I nearly mid-kiss.
"Wha-" mutters Corbin, awkwardly standing in between our romantic stance. I almost upchuck from the horrible timing, yet somehow shoves James' arm off me and take one step away. "Corbin! Uh, hello!" is all I can muster, but thankfully Corbin's on board. "Hey Amber...and Ambers friend." Extending a hand, he smiles and says, "Hey there, I'm Corbin Fierik." James readily shakes his hand but easily falls into his habit of making a joke of everything. "What a strong shake you have, what do you bench?"
"250," says a nonchalant Corbin. "How about you?"
"Erm, 100." James starts to back off and Corbin just laughs. "Come on man, I'll give you some tips for the gym." Corbin lazily opens the door and ushers James inside. As they walk into his earth-toned home, talking so happily, I'm left outside simply staring. Staring and wondering. What the HELL just happened?
Before I can help it, everyone-and by everyone, I mean myself, James, Corbin, and Corbins FIANCEE-is sitting at their weirdly polished dining table, lazily chatting to four plates of tossed salad and the cheesy, classical music station. "So Amber, what do you do for a living?" asks Corbins fiancee, Elizabeth. It's the fourth of fifth question in a line of questions she had to have rehearsed for me. It's almost like she knows about Corbin and my past...
"Oh, you know, just the typical stuff," I lie. I shove another forkful of salad in my mouth so I can avoid talking, so she moves on.
"Oh, how interesting," I can hear the obnoxious sarcasm in her voice as she stares me down. "And how much money do you make with that?-"
"-Oh goodness gracious, honey..." pipes up Corbin. "Can we please keep the dinner table topics a bit less heavy?"
"Surely darling." Elizabeth snarls at her fiance, and shoving her fork down. "I guess I'll go do the dishes. By myself. The way it always is." I don't know what's up her butt, but before it can turn worse I kick James in the leg. Or who I THOUGHT was James.
"Ow!" yelps Corbin. "Did you just kick me, James?" He looks horrified as he stares down my date.
"NO!" I shout. "I did! I'm sorry Cor, it was an accident...what I'm trying to say is, James, why don't you help Elizabeth out in the kitchen?" He takes the hint and hops up. "I would be happy to do so." As he starts up a random conversation with 'Liz' and walks away, I turn to Corbin.
"Corbin..." I trail off, staring into his clear eyes.
"I know what you're going to say, so let me guess: You're mad about how the salad tasted?"
"Oh shush," I say, trying to surpress my giggles. "Is your fiancee okay? Why is she so aggresive with me?" Trying not to come off as rude is especially difficult when talking about someones eventual suitor, so I add, "And no offence," for good measure. Like THAT even means anything.
"Oh, Lizzy...I'm really sorry about her. She's been really moody lately."
"Yeah, but moody doesn't quite cover it. Why does she seem to not like me?"
"Well, that could have something to do with the fact that I told her about our past," he mutters, looking away.
"Corbin!" I try not to scream too loud when this news is delivered. "Why in the world would you tell her about us? And I didn't even know you had a girlfriend, let alone a FIANCEE!"
"Be quiet Amber, they're right in the other room. And I'm sorry, I guess I should have told you. I thought you knew, or had at least guessed."
"How would I guess after you flirted with me both times we've talked in the past month? You were being a bit obvious with your flirtation, Corbin." Trying not to show my jealousy is quite agonizing.
"Well it's not like I would have stayed single all these years. I couldn't wait for someone forever."
"I've been alone all these years," I say quietly, barely above a whisper. "I could wait for someone forever."
Things are more awkward than ever, and I'm shocked when he stands up and pulls me up with him too. "Listen to me," he says sharply, leaning in closely. "We have a history, and I loved you. I STILL love you, but that ship has long sailed. If I hadn't had to move away, and perhaps you hadn't gotten pregnant, then maybe we wouldn't be in this position now. All I know is that you have a boyfriend, I have a finacee, and it would be best if we stayed friends. I'm not going to throw away a marriage to ruin another relationship. You know I'm not that kind of guy. You know I never have been, so please don't put me in the position to change it now."
"I don't have a boyfriend," I whisper.
"What about James? He sure is acting like your partner."
"He's not. So if you left your finacee you wouldn't be ruining another relationship, you'd make me so happy and-"
"Amber, you haven't changed. At all. Your wants are blinding the rest of your judgment and I won't let you or I make this mistake. My fiancee is in the other room, and a guy who seems to really care for you is right next to her. This isn't the greatest place to discuss these matters, can I come over some time to talk?"
"Uh..." Every time someone comes over things always go wrong. "I guess so..."
"Good. Then that is when we can talk more, but for now let's please make Liz somewhat happy, okay? Deal?"
One word had never been so irritating to say, but I do so any way. Out of love and adoration. "Deal."
In an attempt to lighten the mood, Corbin has a fooseball match (his favorite game) with girls versus boys. I can tell how hard he is trying to surpress what he wants to say, so I follow his lead and play too. Nothing is too far-out, except at one moment when Corbin and James were disagreeing over the play to do and it ended up being a battle of the lovers. Liz and I actually came together for the first time and put their boy-like fighting to rest with some angry glances and threats. The rest of the evening goes smooth but something is just so off. I've never been in this position before.
But regardless of my new challenge of having two men in my life, the night comes to a gradual end and I am forced to come home to my family. James walks me to my painted white door, but stops to turn to me.
"You didn't tell me that the friend you were having dinner with was an old boyfriend," mutters James, looking down. As he shuffles his feet and my guilty conscience grows far worse I find the courage to reply.
Carefully, I say, "Well I wasn't planning on you coming over so I didn't know how to tell you. Please don't be mad..."
"I'm not mad," he replies, "I'm just surprised that you still talk to an old boyfriend...he must be an old one considering you've only ever dated Casey in your challenge...right?"
"You're correct, James."
"So why do you still talk to him?" At first I don't understand why he's so curious about Corbin, but then it hits me-he's jealous.
"Oh...James, he moved back into town a few months ago and I've talked to him twice. Nothing is going on between us, nothing will go on between us, and I haven't felt feelings for him in years. He just wanted to have me over to catch up and meet his...fiancee." I try not to grit my teeth at the word. Everything I just said to James is pretty much a lie, since I do still have feelings for Corbin and they could possibly be put into action. Well, if it wasn't for his fiancee.
"Good," smiles James, pulling me in for a tight embrace. "Then if what you just said is true will you finally except my offer to you to be my girlfriend?"
Oh, shit. My mind goes into a whirlwind of thoughts, and keeps going back to no, yes, no, YES, NO.
I'm about to make up an excuse, but instead I dump that idea in the trash and give him a big hug. "Aw, sweetie! You're such a good brother! I love you so much baby!"
"Watch it ma," he giggles, pulling out of my grip. "He fell and I was helping him up. And we're brothers, I will always treat my siblings well. And WHY are you grinning like crazy now?"
"You just make me so happy, darling. Why don't I age up the triplets so you can have some REAL play time with them?"
"Wow mom! That would be epic!" He runs out the door to tell his brother, and I am stuck setting up the cakes. How original.
Brendon, Sarah, and Spencer...holy canoli. They're GORGEOUS! Brendon is just like the person I named him after-hyper, hilarious, and can bring a smile to anyones face. Sarah is the middle girl. She loves both her her immediate brothers, adores all of her half siblings, and loves me the most, and doesn't usually find time for herself. She is such a sweet little girl that just the sight of her face makes me tear up. Finally, Spencer. What can I say about Spencer? He gets along amazingly with both of his siblings, and is a pretty flawless kiddo. I don't usually like the word flawless, but he's perfect in my eyes-great grades, great family man, and never gets under anyones skin. I think it's safe to say I did well with these three!
Lauren (top) and Magenta (bottom) are still the typical Jersey-style girls. So much animal print! Lauren is still the one who always calms Magenta's antics, and Magenta is still the one to make Lauren see the light side of life. They're fabulous partners in crime, so there's no doubt in my mind they will be the best they can.
With the oldest kids grown up and moved out, I finally feel content enough to call over the next father. His name is Matty King, and he works at the matress-store down the street. When he called me, I was unimpressed with his features and history but it's his story that got to me. His mother died when he was only 3-years-old, and ever since he's at eating disorders and weight issues because of the depression. It took all my courage not to cry when he told me, and I face the same issue now! The baby-making process is quick and I give him a huge hug before he leaves. Everyone needs a good hug every once in awhile.
Nausea hits me like a ton of bricks instantly, so I relax a bit and check up on my email and facebook. As I tinker away the kids game of Cops and Robbers pans out before me. "Hold up, I am a COP! You stop right there mister!" demands Spencer. Cute little Brendon giggles saying, "Yeah you better hold up or I'll getcha when you least expect it. Boom! POW!" Sarah, Dylan, and Dwayne skimper away and yell "Oh no! The coppers are on our tail! Make a mad dash to the treehouse!" As they run up and down the yard I grin and take a few pictures. Oh, how I adore Sundays.
I wrap up my web-surfing around 4 PM-ish, and give into aging up the babies. Lazar is on the left, Zaden on the right. They both have very interesting and unique features, but are doubly adorable. As they roll around and giggle I start getting changed for the dinner (maybe date).
I feel like every day, right before something important is going to happen, I end up in the exact same place; in front of my mirror. I'd like to think that it's just a coincidence, and I'm not vain at all, but I think we all know I am just a bit. As I'm obsessing over how my smile looks, and the tiny wrinkles in my dress, I hear the doorbell ring. "MOMMY!" hollers Sarah. "There's someone at the door! Should I answer it?!" I holler back that she should, and I hear footsteps immediately after. The door clicks open, but all I can make out is a few comments from a deep voice and Sarah giggling, "Yeah, sure." to the person. As I'm about to turn around my door is pushed open, revealing the person.
"Hel-wait-wha?..." several words jumble together, and my over-used mouth drops open. "J-James?"
"Well, hello there little miss 'Never-Going-To-Answer-My-Calls.'" he grumbles. His strides grow shorter as he approaches me. Halting completely in front of my face, he says, "I'm glad to see that you're okay. I was beginning to think you were dead or something."
"Why are you here?" Not the most appropriate quesiton, I'm aware of that, but it's the question on my mind as he talks.
"Did you read ANY of my texts? I told you I would be stopping over sometime soon. Well, that time is right now. Is it a bad time?"
Oh, I did read that text. "Oh, sorry, never got that one," I lie. "been so busy I can hardly read any text messages! And yes, it's kind of a bad time right now..."
"Oh, and why would that be?" he questions, while giving me that inquisitve look of his.
"Oh, ya know...just, doing, you know, stuff."
"You're awfully dressed up to be doing 'stuff'. What are you REALLY doing?"
"Um, just, uh-"
"Dear lord Amber," he mutters. James grabs my arm and pulls me close, but not doing anything...yet. "Can you please forget about that damn ring for about two seconds and speak to me? It's not like we're in an awkward fight or something. Talk to me, please. I'm begging you."
"James..." I trail off, falling into his eyes. I tried so hard to forget how deep his orbs are. "I'm going to dinner...with a friend."
"Oh, really? Like Vanessa or Violet or somthing?"
"Well-"
"Please don't lie to me."
"No. I'm not going out with the girls, I'm visiting a high school friend for dinner."
"Oh, really?" he smiles. "Well that's cool. Mind if I go? I'm starved." For any other person, I would slap them acorss the face and demand to know what's wrong with them. But James is James, and this is how he acts all the time.
"Erm..." I mutter.
He says "Dear lord" again and guides me backwards toward the wall.
In a typical James Masons fashion, he places one hand on my cheek, the other on the wall, and plants a huge kiss on me. The tension that has been building up in me for weeks is finally released and I give in. After a few brief moments, I come up for air. "You're smiling." grins James. "I actually got you to smile. I never thought I'd be able to say that again. You worried me for a second there." he laughs and I sort of do too. He dives in for another kiss, but I pull away sooner than the first. "James, I really need to get going. You showed up at a really bad time."
"Are you being serious right now? Amber, I love you. There, I said it! I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU. Can you please just admit you love me too and let me come to dinner with you? Or are you having dinner with a date?" He gives me a look that turns my face bright red. "It's a guy, isn't it? Wow, this is embarressing." He smiles awkwardly and runs his fingers through his tousled hair. "Well, I guess I better be going now. Cya, I guess."
As he turns for the door and is just about to leave, I say, "Wait, James, no. Please come to dinner with me. It's just a high-school friend. I swear. I like you a lot too." I can see he's shocked I didn't say love, but he turns around and comes back. "I was hoping you would say that."
He dives in for another kiss, much more passionate this time. I think the mirror even steamed.
The drive to Corbins was thankfully a short one, therefore preventing too long of a time to talk with James. I'm such an indecisive, non-commitement, and worry-wart of a person that James and Corbin are just two things too much. I don't know how I manage to always get myself into these type of situations, but what I do know is how intimidated I feel as I step up to Corbins front door and place a small knock on the polished wood. "Whoa, your friend has a sick house," laughs James. I elbow him in the stomach, demanding that he be mature and appropriate. "Can you please be mature for one second?" Trying to keep a straight face is of no use since James errupts into laughter. "So, is this a boyfriend or something?" he teases some more. His fingers reach up to my chin, and gently tilt it up, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. "Relax, Amber. We've been through far worse than a dinner date." I ponder what kind of bad luck that could be when Corbin opens the door to James and I nearly mid-kiss.
"Wha-" mutters Corbin, awkwardly standing in between our romantic stance. I almost upchuck from the horrible timing, yet somehow shoves James' arm off me and take one step away. "Corbin! Uh, hello!" is all I can muster, but thankfully Corbin's on board. "Hey Amber...and Ambers friend." Extending a hand, he smiles and says, "Hey there, I'm Corbin Fierik." James readily shakes his hand but easily falls into his habit of making a joke of everything. "What a strong shake you have, what do you bench?"
"250," says a nonchalant Corbin. "How about you?"
"Erm, 100." James starts to back off and Corbin just laughs. "Come on man, I'll give you some tips for the gym." Corbin lazily opens the door and ushers James inside. As they walk into his earth-toned home, talking so happily, I'm left outside simply staring. Staring and wondering. What the HELL just happened?
Before I can help it, everyone-and by everyone, I mean myself, James, Corbin, and Corbins FIANCEE-is sitting at their weirdly polished dining table, lazily chatting to four plates of tossed salad and the cheesy, classical music station. "So Amber, what do you do for a living?" asks Corbins fiancee, Elizabeth. It's the fourth of fifth question in a line of questions she had to have rehearsed for me. It's almost like she knows about Corbin and my past...
"Oh, you know, just the typical stuff," I lie. I shove another forkful of salad in my mouth so I can avoid talking, so she moves on.
"Oh, how interesting," I can hear the obnoxious sarcasm in her voice as she stares me down. "And how much money do you make with that?-"
"-Oh goodness gracious, honey..." pipes up Corbin. "Can we please keep the dinner table topics a bit less heavy?"
"Surely darling." Elizabeth snarls at her fiance, and shoving her fork down. "I guess I'll go do the dishes. By myself. The way it always is." I don't know what's up her butt, but before it can turn worse I kick James in the leg. Or who I THOUGHT was James.
"Ow!" yelps Corbin. "Did you just kick me, James?" He looks horrified as he stares down my date.
"NO!" I shout. "I did! I'm sorry Cor, it was an accident...what I'm trying to say is, James, why don't you help Elizabeth out in the kitchen?" He takes the hint and hops up. "I would be happy to do so." As he starts up a random conversation with 'Liz' and walks away, I turn to Corbin.
"Corbin..." I trail off, staring into his clear eyes.
"I know what you're going to say, so let me guess: You're mad about how the salad tasted?"
"Oh shush," I say, trying to surpress my giggles. "Is your fiancee okay? Why is she so aggresive with me?" Trying not to come off as rude is especially difficult when talking about someones eventual suitor, so I add, "And no offence," for good measure. Like THAT even means anything.
"Oh, Lizzy...I'm really sorry about her. She's been really moody lately."
"Yeah, but moody doesn't quite cover it. Why does she seem to not like me?"
"Well, that could have something to do with the fact that I told her about our past," he mutters, looking away.
"Corbin!" I try not to scream too loud when this news is delivered. "Why in the world would you tell her about us? And I didn't even know you had a girlfriend, let alone a FIANCEE!"
"Be quiet Amber, they're right in the other room. And I'm sorry, I guess I should have told you. I thought you knew, or had at least guessed."
"How would I guess after you flirted with me both times we've talked in the past month? You were being a bit obvious with your flirtation, Corbin." Trying not to show my jealousy is quite agonizing.
"Well it's not like I would have stayed single all these years. I couldn't wait for someone forever."
"I've been alone all these years," I say quietly, barely above a whisper. "I could wait for someone forever."
Things are more awkward than ever, and I'm shocked when he stands up and pulls me up with him too. "Listen to me," he says sharply, leaning in closely. "We have a history, and I loved you. I STILL love you, but that ship has long sailed. If I hadn't had to move away, and perhaps you hadn't gotten pregnant, then maybe we wouldn't be in this position now. All I know is that you have a boyfriend, I have a finacee, and it would be best if we stayed friends. I'm not going to throw away a marriage to ruin another relationship. You know I'm not that kind of guy. You know I never have been, so please don't put me in the position to change it now."
"I don't have a boyfriend," I whisper.
"What about James? He sure is acting like your partner."
"He's not. So if you left your finacee you wouldn't be ruining another relationship, you'd make me so happy and-"
"Amber, you haven't changed. At all. Your wants are blinding the rest of your judgment and I won't let you or I make this mistake. My fiancee is in the other room, and a guy who seems to really care for you is right next to her. This isn't the greatest place to discuss these matters, can I come over some time to talk?"
"Uh..." Every time someone comes over things always go wrong. "I guess so..."
"Good. Then that is when we can talk more, but for now let's please make Liz somewhat happy, okay? Deal?"
One word had never been so irritating to say, but I do so any way. Out of love and adoration. "Deal."
In an attempt to lighten the mood, Corbin has a fooseball match (his favorite game) with girls versus boys. I can tell how hard he is trying to surpress what he wants to say, so I follow his lead and play too. Nothing is too far-out, except at one moment when Corbin and James were disagreeing over the play to do and it ended up being a battle of the lovers. Liz and I actually came together for the first time and put their boy-like fighting to rest with some angry glances and threats. The rest of the evening goes smooth but something is just so off. I've never been in this position before.
But regardless of my new challenge of having two men in my life, the night comes to a gradual end and I am forced to come home to my family. James walks me to my painted white door, but stops to turn to me.
"You didn't tell me that the friend you were having dinner with was an old boyfriend," mutters James, looking down. As he shuffles his feet and my guilty conscience grows far worse I find the courage to reply.
Carefully, I say, "Well I wasn't planning on you coming over so I didn't know how to tell you. Please don't be mad..."
"I'm not mad," he replies, "I'm just surprised that you still talk to an old boyfriend...he must be an old one considering you've only ever dated Casey in your challenge...right?"
"You're correct, James."
"So why do you still talk to him?" At first I don't understand why he's so curious about Corbin, but then it hits me-he's jealous.
"Oh...James, he moved back into town a few months ago and I've talked to him twice. Nothing is going on between us, nothing will go on between us, and I haven't felt feelings for him in years. He just wanted to have me over to catch up and meet his...fiancee." I try not to grit my teeth at the word. Everything I just said to James is pretty much a lie, since I do still have feelings for Corbin and they could possibly be put into action. Well, if it wasn't for his fiancee.
"Good," smiles James, pulling me in for a tight embrace. "Then if what you just said is true will you finally except my offer to you to be my girlfriend?"
Oh, shit. My mind goes into a whirlwind of thoughts, and keeps going back to no, yes, no, YES, NO.
"James..." I begin, without really thinking. I would love to say yes considering how much suffering I've probably put him through. Casey never had to work this hard to have me, but we all know how that turned out. But if I were to say yes, would I really enjoy my time with him? James is a great friend and an awesome person to have around, but I have no clue if we have the ability to uphold a good relationship. I feel like if I were to say yes that I would be unhappy with my decision. As I deliberate this annoying question, James leans in. "Any time now would be nice," he laughs nervously.
"Oh," I giggle, avoiding his eyes. I want so badly to keep the window of my relationship status open for Corbin, but he basically told me to back off or be backed off tonight. Is it really worth it to say no to a GREAT guy for someone unavailable? Agonizing over whether or not to say yes causes a line of stress to appear on my forhead, clearly visible to James.
"If this is too much for you, I could understand..." he trails off. James is a man of the moment so I know that he wants an answer now. Against my free-will, I push my stray hair behind one ear and sigh. "Yes, James. I will be your girlfriend."
And what happens next, although it shouldn't surprise me, does. James pulls me in for probably our fifth kiss of the evening, but this one far more passionate. As we dive farther and farther into the kiss I actually start to feel content with my dicision to start dating this wonderful man, but once he pulls away and gently whispers in my ear,"Shall we take this to the bedroom?" that I start to feel that nauseating feeling that I've done something wrong. "No James. I'm tired and...it's too soon. Far too soon. Goodnight." Saying no to James is just like being asked to pick a favorite child; agonizing, sad, and just plain odd. But I do say no, and he gives me a goofy salute, saying, "What ever you say Lights. G'night." And he books it off my front lawn. I pick up my purse and slumber into the house, only to notice that it's pushing 3 AM and everyone is fast asleep. Rather than grabbing a snack like I had intended I tip-toe to my bedroom and just pass out.
After a plentiful nights rest, I wake up feeling rejuvinated and healthy. I, Amber Essence Lights, am now reunited with my high school "friend", have a boyfriend, and am finally pregnant with more babies in this dragged-out 100 baby challenge. Looking back on all that's happened makes me shiver. I've made it so far so good, through break-ups, deaths, 79 kids, and now I have my third-ever boyfriend. I'm hoping third time's the charm because I'm so sick and tired of breakups.
And in an attempt to lift my happy-but-not-so-happy mood I put in some Do-It-Yourself purple highlights. The little change puts a grin on my face and urges me to make it through the day and not think about either men in my life.
Lazar is being extremely cranky today so I call up a babysitter and take only Zaden to one of my favorite places in Sunset Valley. When I was a teenager there was a place known as "Hook-Up Peak"-it was pretty much the go-to place to make out and not be bugged by your parents. I remember when Corbin and I started dating how we would go there and sit on top of the mountain, laughing at the dozens of typical teens sucking face. Ignoring the classic made-up nickname, the place I'm taking Zaden to is actually called Crystal Springs. Things have changed in the past ten years and now it's a rarely-visited place. I haven't been there in years but I'm almost positive it's the same.
And how right I am! Once we get there I plop tiny Zaden into my gender-neutral colored stroller and start the ten minunte walk up the hill. My excitement grows with each step, as I point out each spot that Corbin and I used to sit, and all the conversations we had. Finally, when I see the lake, I have to stop myself for a moment to catch my breath. Late night swims in this lake were like tradition with us. Well, ten years ago it was.
I'm not one to spend too long reminiscing. Once I reach the exact spot on the mountain that I've always adored, I place Zaden off to the side with a toy and a sibling and cast out my line. I wasn't planning on fishing but the sun is shining and the water is cooled to the perfect temperature. I leave Zaden with some step-siblings who are also there and give the day to myself and my soon-to-be babies.
Towards the end of the long afternoon, when the sun starts to srop and the air starts to cool, I put away my fishing line and finally spend some time with my baby boy. I take him over to the grape-patch, where the finest grapes in SV are grown. I pick a few, but I also take the time to start some of his skills. "Come on, let's walk!" I encourage my little boy. "Let's get your tiny feet moving, baby boy!"
"But-but, mommy! I can't walk! Imma fishy, just like them!" He uneasily points his small finger to the lake. "Me can't do dat!"
"Left foot..." I press, moving his left foot. "Now try your right foot..." his right foot stumbles as I inch it slowly forward. "Now hold your arms out..." I pull his arms up from mine and splay them out like wings. "And now do it again honey! Walk to mommy!" I back up and hold my arms out. "Walk to mommy! Come on Zade!" His face becomes one filled with awe as he learns to walk, all on his own.
"GO ZADEN!" I cheer. He falls into my arms and I lift him up, hugging him with all my life. Teaching a tot a skill is never easy, but once they age up and put it to use it is immensely worth it. I grin and bring him to my ear. "Honey, we must go home now! Time for your older brothers to grow up!"
"Party?" he asks, a grin playing on the corners of his mouth.
"Oh yes, a PARTY." I say. He smiles and cheers so I hop back in the car and head home. Crystal Springs is always a spot of firsts, like the first time I went anywhere with Cor.
When I get home Zaden rushes to play with a newly-happy Lazar while Dylan (left) and Dwayne (right) age up. I give the triplets some toys I held off from their birthday to play with and the boys get started on their high school work to get ahead. While everyone is busy I make some dinner and we all settle down for a nice evening. I love family time.
It's finally the last day of my pregnancy, the home stretch. My belly is swelled up to the size of a pie and I'm starting to think there's only one little bugger in there. In order to avoid that and keep progressing with my challenge, I take some medicine that increases your chances for multiples and drink a glass of water. Rubbing my belly, I mutter, "Looks like there will be two of you now!" and a grin spreads across my face. Got to love pregnancy!
Since the kids are long gone to school, and the babies are having an off day, I hop on the computer and start fall-shopping. I love to order things to make the house nicer, and my favorite is decorating for the holidays. I started my challenge last year on December 26, 2010, just in time to miss the greatest holiday time to decorate. With Halloween fast approaching and the leaves changing color, I decide to head online and order all my favorite pumpkin and hay-bale accessories for the house. As I'm browsing some Amazon saled I notice an ad of the side of the screen.
The picture is advertising puppies for sale!! I've never once pondered getting a dog because of my hectic life, but now that I'm fast approaching the end of my challenge I'm starting to think it might not be so bad to take up yet another challenge; raising a dog. The mother pictured in the ad is absolutely gorgeous, and if ehr puppies look anything like her I'm thinking this may not be so bad after all. I jot down the number and make a mental note to call the owner later.
After I stop grinning like an idiot at the new opportunity, I finally get myself to the local Arts N' Crafts store and pick up the perfect fall decorations for the house. I mainly do the front of the house with some small accents inside, but I think I'm in love with it. Having a family makes decorating so much more fun-you actually have some to decorate for.
I spend the rest of the typical day fall-cleaning, and preparing myself for yet another two births. Nothing much goes on until the teens get home and have a very sad request.
"Please, please, PLEASE mom. Can we prettp please with a cherry on top age up??"
"I just don't understand why," I reply, utterly vexed. "You only aged up yesterday! It's a bit too soon, don't you think?" I try to reason ith their determined minds.
"Well the teacher at school got us an interview with the Dean of the local college and we got accepted! Isn't that GREAT?"
"How is that even possible? It's only been one day!"
"Well we work fast mom. This is a really great, rare opportunity and we would love to be able to accept it. Please mom?"
One thing I despise is disappointing my children, but another thing I despise is saying goodbye too early. I put away my feelings and look at the reality of the situations; a better future for my kids. Sighing, I slowly reply, "Okay...go get out the birthday cakes. I love you boys, don't you go forgetting that."
The envelope me in a hug and the grins on their faces are answer enough to whether or not I made the right decision.
I very rarely photo-bomb my kids YA pictures, but I just had to this time! Aren't they simply phenomenal? Dylan (left) looks almost identical to Dwayne (right), except Dwayne has just a bit more body fat than his brother. I'm sad to see them go so fast, so feel free to head over to the Kids section of this blog and download them yourself, and play out their story...It would make me so happy if you did :')
I feel like I haven't been spending enough time with my little baby girl Sarah since she's grown up, so I make it a special task to spend the evening with her. We watch The Princess Diaries together and have a little mommmy-daughter cuddle time to talk and relax on the living room sofa. She's the only girl in this long string of boys and I love her to death for struggling through it.
Towards the end of the nice night, another visitor stops by to see me. Of course it's James so don't act surprised. He tells me he came over to see how I'm doing and to check up on his "girlfriend". What a weird thing to be called again, it's been a while. He doesn't seem to be affected by the fact that I'm about to give birth any minute, and he doesn't press me to be romantic with him. Every time James comes over I forget more and more about the guy I feel inclined to love, a.k.a. Corbin. James stays over until about midnight when I finally give into sleep. He tucks me in and gives me a kiss on the forehead, whispering, "Sleep tight babe." and he left. I had really good dreams.
But I sadly don't sleep THAT long. I'm awoken around 5 AM to give birth to TWO new baby girls, breaking the sort-of boy streak.
And how right I am! Once we get there I plop tiny Zaden into my gender-neutral colored stroller and start the ten minunte walk up the hill. My excitement grows with each step, as I point out each spot that Corbin and I used to sit, and all the conversations we had. Finally, when I see the lake, I have to stop myself for a moment to catch my breath. Late night swims in this lake were like tradition with us. Well, ten years ago it was.
I'm not one to spend too long reminiscing. Once I reach the exact spot on the mountain that I've always adored, I place Zaden off to the side with a toy and a sibling and cast out my line. I wasn't planning on fishing but the sun is shining and the water is cooled to the perfect temperature. I leave Zaden with some step-siblings who are also there and give the day to myself and my soon-to-be babies.
Towards the end of the long afternoon, when the sun starts to srop and the air starts to cool, I put away my fishing line and finally spend some time with my baby boy. I take him over to the grape-patch, where the finest grapes in SV are grown. I pick a few, but I also take the time to start some of his skills. "Come on, let's walk!" I encourage my little boy. "Let's get your tiny feet moving, baby boy!"
"But-but, mommy! I can't walk! Imma fishy, just like them!" He uneasily points his small finger to the lake. "Me can't do dat!"
"Left foot..." I press, moving his left foot. "Now try your right foot..." his right foot stumbles as I inch it slowly forward. "Now hold your arms out..." I pull his arms up from mine and splay them out like wings. "And now do it again honey! Walk to mommy!" I back up and hold my arms out. "Walk to mommy! Come on Zade!" His face becomes one filled with awe as he learns to walk, all on his own.
"GO ZADEN!" I cheer. He falls into my arms and I lift him up, hugging him with all my life. Teaching a tot a skill is never easy, but once they age up and put it to use it is immensely worth it. I grin and bring him to my ear. "Honey, we must go home now! Time for your older brothers to grow up!"
"Party?" he asks, a grin playing on the corners of his mouth.
"Oh yes, a PARTY." I say. He smiles and cheers so I hop back in the car and head home. Crystal Springs is always a spot of firsts, like the first time I went anywhere with Cor.
When I get home Zaden rushes to play with a newly-happy Lazar while Dylan (left) and Dwayne (right) age up. I give the triplets some toys I held off from their birthday to play with and the boys get started on their high school work to get ahead. While everyone is busy I make some dinner and we all settle down for a nice evening. I love family time.
It's finally the last day of my pregnancy, the home stretch. My belly is swelled up to the size of a pie and I'm starting to think there's only one little bugger in there. In order to avoid that and keep progressing with my challenge, I take some medicine that increases your chances for multiples and drink a glass of water. Rubbing my belly, I mutter, "Looks like there will be two of you now!" and a grin spreads across my face. Got to love pregnancy!
Since the kids are long gone to school, and the babies are having an off day, I hop on the computer and start fall-shopping. I love to order things to make the house nicer, and my favorite is decorating for the holidays. I started my challenge last year on December 26, 2010, just in time to miss the greatest holiday time to decorate. With Halloween fast approaching and the leaves changing color, I decide to head online and order all my favorite pumpkin and hay-bale accessories for the house. As I'm browsing some Amazon saled I notice an ad of the side of the screen.
The picture is advertising puppies for sale!! I've never once pondered getting a dog because of my hectic life, but now that I'm fast approaching the end of my challenge I'm starting to think it might not be so bad to take up yet another challenge; raising a dog. The mother pictured in the ad is absolutely gorgeous, and if ehr puppies look anything like her I'm thinking this may not be so bad after all. I jot down the number and make a mental note to call the owner later.
After I stop grinning like an idiot at the new opportunity, I finally get myself to the local Arts N' Crafts store and pick up the perfect fall decorations for the house. I mainly do the front of the house with some small accents inside, but I think I'm in love with it. Having a family makes decorating so much more fun-you actually have some to decorate for.
I spend the rest of the typical day fall-cleaning, and preparing myself for yet another two births. Nothing much goes on until the teens get home and have a very sad request.
"Please, please, PLEASE mom. Can we prettp please with a cherry on top age up??"
"I just don't understand why," I reply, utterly vexed. "You only aged up yesterday! It's a bit too soon, don't you think?" I try to reason ith their determined minds.
"Well the teacher at school got us an interview with the Dean of the local college and we got accepted! Isn't that GREAT?"
"How is that even possible? It's only been one day!"
"Well we work fast mom. This is a really great, rare opportunity and we would love to be able to accept it. Please mom?"
One thing I despise is disappointing my children, but another thing I despise is saying goodbye too early. I put away my feelings and look at the reality of the situations; a better future for my kids. Sighing, I slowly reply, "Okay...go get out the birthday cakes. I love you boys, don't you go forgetting that."
The envelope me in a hug and the grins on their faces are answer enough to whether or not I made the right decision.
I very rarely photo-bomb my kids YA pictures, but I just had to this time! Aren't they simply phenomenal? Dylan (left) looks almost identical to Dwayne (right), except Dwayne has just a bit more body fat than his brother. I'm sad to see them go so fast, so feel free to head over to the Kids section of this blog and download them yourself, and play out their story...It would make me so happy if you did :')
I feel like I haven't been spending enough time with my little baby girl Sarah since she's grown up, so I make it a special task to spend the evening with her. We watch The Princess Diaries together and have a little mommmy-daughter cuddle time to talk and relax on the living room sofa. She's the only girl in this long string of boys and I love her to death for struggling through it.
Towards the end of the nice night, another visitor stops by to see me. Of course it's James so don't act surprised. He tells me he came over to see how I'm doing and to check up on his "girlfriend". What a weird thing to be called again, it's been a while. He doesn't seem to be affected by the fact that I'm about to give birth any minute, and he doesn't press me to be romantic with him. Every time James comes over I forget more and more about the guy I feel inclined to love, a.k.a. Corbin. James stays over until about midnight when I finally give into sleep. He tucks me in and gives me a kiss on the forehead, whispering, "Sleep tight babe." and he left. I had really good dreams.
But I sadly don't sleep THAT long. I'm awoken around 5 AM to give birth to TWO new baby girls, breaking the sort-of boy streak.
Baby 80
Avalynne Lights
Baby 81
Jenette Lights
Two new babies and a loving boyfriend. I think I could deal with that.
<3 :)
THANKS FOR READING! Take a look at the poll at the top of the blog, and keep being awesome! Love you all! <333
Leave a comment :)
ghsdjkjfjusd utsdb alshdbfhn yhddjsygbsldjhfh.
ReplyDeleteAmber Lights named TWO babies after me.
fdjfdfsklfjlskdfjsdlfjlsdfjds.
Great post, Ambs.
Keep up the GREAT WORK!
LYLAS!
~Ava
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh wow amber!
ReplyDeleteThanks girls.
ReplyDeleteAnon, wow what??? :D
-Amber-
Keep commenting!
NO. NO WAY YOU HAD MORE BABIES. BOYFRIEND?! I..am speechless.
ReplyDeleteTHIS WAS AMAZING!! I CANT WAIT UNTIL YOU POST AGAIN. (:
ReplyDeleteThanks Vanessa ^_^
ReplyDeleteAnon! Thank you soooo much! I'm so glad people are liking this, it took me forever to write and plan out. You can't even begin to imagine how much time I spent on this!
-Amber-
Keep commenting!
Oh my gosh! I loved this post! James is so awesome! And Sarah is adorable! AHHHH! So much awesomeness in this post! :D
ReplyDelete"I think the mirror even steamed."
ReplyDeleteExcuse me while I roll on the floor laughing at how funny that line is!
Corbin? Engaged? Jaw dropper! Awesome post in general, I love how all the kids look. :) And thanks for the mention of the gift, glad you like it. ♥
HOLY COW!! :D THIS WAS FANTASTIC! (as if the other comments didn't point that out already!!) I LOVE JAMES. I vote James all the way :) You two are ADORABLE together. I really don't like Corbin for some reason :( hmph. Who goes around flirting when they're engaged…
ReplyDeleteWow, I was surprised to learn that Corbin was engaged. What was he doing leading Amber on like that???? You're so close to the end of your challenge - I'm jealous! :D
ReplyDelete@Pasiley, thank youuuu. :D Sarah IS a gorgeous one, and once again, thank you!
ReplyDelete@Destiny- I was hoping that would make people laugh ^_^ And I loved the gift so thank YOU!
Catherineeeee, thanks for reading! So many people love James so I'm not surprised, but I have some tricks up my sleeve that may just completely change your mind. In the mean time though, go ahead and silike Corbin ;)
Thanks Catlover! I'm sure the engagment was a shock to everyone! Hahaha, yeah I am close thank GOD! :D
-Amber-
Keep commenting!
I cannot get over the awesome Panic! babies!
ReplyDeleteCan you please name your next boys Dallon and Ian? Or Jon and Ryan? Cause then you could have like the complete set :) Love your blog, keep it up!
Yay I'm so excited about the new post! My jaw literally dropped when you said Corbin is engaged. I still like him though, I don't know why. The kids are all great and I'm glad Sarah is such a cutie! Looking forward to the next post. Did you post on Facebook about the post?
ReplyDeleteThanks anon, I really should do that...I love Panic! :D
ReplyDeleteSarah, thank you so much for reading! I feel like corbin is oh-so-lovable, but I guess that's a matter of personal opinion. Sarah IS a cutie and I'm glad about that too aaannnddddd, yes, I did post little on facebook about the post..why?
-Amber-
Keep commenting!
I'm on Facebook all the time, but must have missed the status about the post.
ReplyDeletewill we ever learn ur real name or at least nickname?????? im curious :P
ReplyDeleteright now shes amber as in the challenge mom
DeleteYay, thanks for considering it, I love them too!
ReplyDelete